No Mood

Really finding it less and less motivating to blog because of the stupid "white-out" problem... I think i gave up hope of ever finding out what's wrong with it. Seems that new IE and new Blogger isn't working that fantastically together.

No mood to update my life much also because life isn't that interesting since i got back to singapore from melbourne. Looks like it will be a while before there will be any significant changes in this aspect. Still trying to keep my head out of the water and just "survive" but it has not been easy.

Angela is leaving singapore at the end of the month. That's kind of depressing since i am going to lose one of my 'amusement' (her words, not mine) and a great support at work. It will be weird not having Angela around at work after the 21st of April since she has been here from Day 1 when i started work. Can't say that she has found me 'amusing' then, if i remembered correctly, the word 'cocky' or 'arrogant' seems to the general impression she had of me. Ahahaha shows how much things can change over time eh? We watched colleagues come and go... from a point where there were only as many therapists as you can count with two hands, till having our regular badminton and "powerpuff girls" club.. that's pretty good memories to live by and one of the things that keep me sane in this place.

That said, everyone has got to keep moving forward nonetheless. Others like PP, MeiY, Daph, Denise, WF, Dav, Eliz has all moved. Angela is moving forward. Soon it will be Fei and LS. Who will be left? But then, people came too, there was a time when Fio, PS, LS and now MH, were new too. I guess none of us are quite irreplaceable to the organization, but perhaps in some degrees we are so, in each others' minds depending on how much we had shared with each other. I wonder where do i fit into this coming and going. I very much want to go but things are just happening so slowly.

Life could be better spent than trying to make my life less miserable here. And its crazy when one is not productive and work is no longer meaningful. So, as much as i will miss Angela once she leaves... i can't say that i am not happy for her for leaving behind a work that brings no pleasure, no affirmation, no motivation and no future. Look at J now... at least he is living a fulfilling life that he has chosen compared to when he was here. And as her good friend at work, that's what i hope Angela will have too when she goes, if not move. That's one determined girl who knows what she wants and find means to get it... Well, that might be that bit of bullheadedness and all that 'nasty' things she have up her sleeves for 'fools' she cannot tolerate but at least she reflects and change when she sets her mind to it.

There will be things i don't understand about certain things she feels about people or why she said certain things but really, once you get pass those 'rough' edges, Angela is one true and loyal friend that stick with you through all kinda shit even if she has to slough right through it with you. Man... I am gonna miss her... I think all this while i didn't seem quite bother was probably because i have not been thinking very much about it (well, trying not to) and kept telling myself that it will be a while more before she goes... Well, its April now. She should have left on the 6th, and despite me saying that she should have rid herself of this org, i am pretty happy she extended her term till 21st.

Oh well. Nothing left to say and do... just another stark reminder that i have to start planning for myself concretely ASAP. Misery breeds contempt. I am one contemptuous bitch right now and ain't afraid to show it. But that shouldn't be the way.

I guess... its my time to go too.